Ok…so technically lent is behind us. But I had a beautiful conversation with my good friend Leigh a couple of nights ago where we discussed the Boyfriend Gap. No I ain’t talking jeans. I’m talking about that time between your last breakup and your next great love. How reckless do we truly get during this time? While some of us sit in the house and read romance novels until Prince Charming throws pebbles at our window, there are others who are putting on their best push up bra for a free drink and a compliment. I found myself somewhere in between.
True, I wasn’t picking out my favorite bra but I also wasn’t reading romance novels (I prefer business books as of late). I couldn’t help but find myself in a whirlwind of moments with men who ended up being unworthy of my time, attention, makeup, combing my hair, getting out the bed to get dress… get where I’m going here?
After that conversation with Leigh, I decided I had to do better. Not because I was looking for a man to sweep me off my feet or because I was ready to “settle down” (a term I hate by the way, but that’s another post). I needed to rid all those late night texts (“Hey boo you up?” at 2:37AM ain’t cute, it’s just downright annoying), those dinner dates, those uncomfortable conversations at the club that get drowned out by loud music and focus on the one thing that truly mattered…..me.
First things first, I knew I would have to get a good vibrator (If you are reading this sorry Dad!). I knew that would save me PLENTY of time and effort. Next, I decided that I would have to regulate some short and long term goals. Amongst these goals are baking, kickboxing, photography and getting my credit in check (hello new home!).
In my prior years, I’ve sacrificed meat, alcohol, candy, swearing and shopping, just some of the things that I love to relish in. So giving up men for lent (and anytime there after), will be a challenge. I say that because I’m not boy crazy or hot in the pants, but it is during times of sacrifice that we are tested the most. Drinks with that guy with the green eyes, movie dates with Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome and “why don’t you come over to my place?” with that amazing guy I met on a business trip are all tests that I know will “pop up” during this time.
And that’s where I will have to be a big girl and say “you know I’m very flattered but I’m so busy right now so I have to respectfully decline” and by busy I really mean: “You too damn fine but I gotta pretend I gotta life so I won’t let you consume my growth process, so I’m just gonna go home and paint my nails and sing 70’s music to my cat Chica instead of giving you my number”.
I know I will be tested and I know it’s gonna be hard, but I know after this fasting process I will come out more focused, deeper in love with myself and perhaps on my way to a real fairy tale where I write the rules of living happily ever after. -Adrienne